When The Smart Girl Going To Be Fool

I was a smart girl before I knew Him.
Before I fell in love with Him.
Because of one guy my life has changed.
He made my life become so beautiful so colorfull.
He brought me a lot of smile and happiness.
He gave me a lot of hopes and promises.

But suddenly He said He has no confidence to continue this relation.
He can't live with me.
He told me some non sense reason to leave me.
After He left me, I was lost control.
I can't think clearly.
I was the most stupid girl at that time.
In my mind only him and I can't erase all memories about him.
Until i got an accident, I hoped I died in that accident.
But God safe my life.
My friend tried to contact Him and ask him to help me.
He Agreed and He contact me again.
We contacted again each other but no relationship.
Until I feel I can move on and decide to back to my another Ex-boyfriend
But suddenly He forbid me to back to my Ex, and ask me to go back to Him.
I was so confuse but happy because I am not really can forget my feeling to Him.

Finally, I forgive Him and accept Him back to me.
This is not the start of my happiness.
But the start of my sorrow.
He start to gave me a fake hope again.
I was so stupid, I believed Him.
Even my heart said that He will hurt me again one day but I ignored it.
My love to Him getting bigger and bigger day by day.
Until the day when he will come to visit me.
Suddenly he said the truth that he has somebody there.
He doesn't love Her but He has sex with Her.
Again I was so stupid, I forgave Him again.
1 week before He come, that girl visit Him and told Him that She can't live without Him.
It make Him stress and finally choose Her instead of me.
Then i committed suicide, jumped from the second floor of my house.
I hoped I died at that time, but again God safe my life.
Then I told Him that I want to talk with Her, I was hope I can struggle for my love and get Him back.
But after a long conversation with Her, still he doesn't choose me.
I admit that she has very strong influence on Him.
Then again I did a stupid thing, and this time I got coma, because of lack of blood.
After He knew me coma, He tried to wake me up from coma with His voices recording that He sent to my friend.
He succeed woke me up from coma, again He told me a lot of lies after I woke up from coma.
Then I told Him, I want to talk to that girl, because He said that She will leave Him if she will have baby from Him, but when I talk to Her, She said she can't leave Him.

I was never begging for a love, I was never fighting for a love.
But my love to Him really made me going to be a fool girl.
Now I do not know what I have to do now???
Should I commit suicide again???
I love Him so much

For My Heart Breaker : Hope one day You can feel what I feel this year

Bullies

There was a girl all alone lost in a world filled with hate an darkness. She could not see where her mind and body were taking her. She was consumed by what everyone thought of her. For her everything was hard, at school she was either too fat or to skinny, to hot or to ugly. There was no in between, her life was based on lies. She had no friends, no family sat alone everyday waiting for someone to just say hey. Her mother was always awake she never had a father her sister at school and no brothers around. For she was ever alone. She could never see the light in the dark path that she was on, for now she is completely lost. She could not think for herself she came home each night tear down her face blood down her wrist. She wished an hoped, damn she prayed all night and day that the pain would go. She could not stop it or slow it down as it ate away at her brain an her heart. She kicked and yelled every night hoping her mom would see she was in pain. Her mother thought she was bipolar or maybe just plain insane. No one not even her own mother could see that she was suffering , no one could ever imagine the pain she was in. Each day she walked she walked in the rain. A few months past her mom put her in therapy all she did was scream and cry. Her mother and teachers and all her classmates thought she was nuts and she was loosing her mind. No one thought to ask her why she did what she did, no one thought to see if she really needed help or just friend to talk to. She wished oh how she wished she could end it. But god would not let her, for she has a reason to live. 

One night when she was asleep she herd a little whisper so quit and soft saying her name very gently she rose she walked down the empty hall, that night she dreamed of a way to end it all. She woke up the next morning with a smile, her mother asked why are you smiling. She simply replied I am happy now you will see I found a way a way to be free. She walked out that door an into the school she stood on the stage and looked around, she simply said to all the people being called fat or ugly skinny or bitchy there is a way out there is but it is not death. All the pretty and rich kids laughed for they thought it was funny that the weird kid was talking. She looked at everyone and simply smiled,let me tell you I might never come again so let me tell you now. One year ago I suffered a car accident that is why I have my scar on my face that you call ugly … last year I was pregnant because I was raped that is why you call me fat… I lost the baby an went anorexic that is why you call me skinny.. you stupid girls an boys do not know what it is like on the other side.. so the next time you go to call someone ugly or fat or a outcast you should not judge just see who they are inside. Once again though everyone laughed at her. She went home that night and ended her life. She wrote a note to all my fellow classmates I hope now you will my story and listen to those words I spoke for they can either haunt you or help you!