When The Smart Girl Going To Be Fool

I was a smart girl before I knew Him.
Before I fell in love with Him.
Because of one guy my life has changed.
He made my life become so beautiful so colorfull.
He brought me a lot of smile and happiness.
He gave me a lot of hopes and promises.

But suddenly He said He has no confidence to continue this relation.
He can't live with me.
He told me some non sense reason to leave me.
After He left me, I was lost control.
I can't think clearly.
I was the most stupid girl at that time.
In my mind only him and I can't erase all memories about him.
Until i got an accident, I hoped I died in that accident.
But God safe my life.
My friend tried to contact Him and ask him to help me.
He Agreed and He contact me again.
We contacted again each other but no relationship.
Until I feel I can move on and decide to back to my another Ex-boyfriend
But suddenly He forbid me to back to my Ex, and ask me to go back to Him.
I was so confuse but happy because I am not really can forget my feeling to Him.

Finally, I forgive Him and accept Him back to me.
This is not the start of my happiness.
But the start of my sorrow.
He start to gave me a fake hope again.
I was so stupid, I believed Him.
Even my heart said that He will hurt me again one day but I ignored it.
My love to Him getting bigger and bigger day by day.
Until the day when he will come to visit me.
Suddenly he said the truth that he has somebody there.
He doesn't love Her but He has sex with Her.
Again I was so stupid, I forgave Him again.
1 week before He come, that girl visit Him and told Him that She can't live without Him.
It make Him stress and finally choose Her instead of me.
Then i committed suicide, jumped from the second floor of my house.
I hoped I died at that time, but again God safe my life.
Then I told Him that I want to talk with Her, I was hope I can struggle for my love and get Him back.
But after a long conversation with Her, still he doesn't choose me.
I admit that she has very strong influence on Him.
Then again I did a stupid thing, and this time I got coma, because of lack of blood.
After He knew me coma, He tried to wake me up from coma with His voices recording that He sent to my friend.
He succeed woke me up from coma, again He told me a lot of lies after I woke up from coma.
Then I told Him, I want to talk to that girl, because He said that She will leave Him if she will have baby from Him, but when I talk to Her, She said she can't leave Him.

I was never begging for a love, I was never fighting for a love.
But my love to Him really made me going to be a fool girl.
Now I do not know what I have to do now???
Should I commit suicide again???
I love Him so much

For My Heart Breaker : Hope one day You can feel what I feel this year